“If your colleagues deem that Lincoln’s behavior was appropriate, then why not just say so? Why not give Leonie and me a little moral/psychological perspective and tell us that we’re absurdly oversensitive and unreasonable, and that we should find it quite acceptable to have Lincoln declare––in my workplace and to their potential future employers––that our sons are guilty of ‘a systemic inhumanity . . . that defies all norms of Christianity and human decency’?” —Letter from James Coffin, dated August 15, 2007.
LETTER
August 2, 2007
James Coffin
[Address provided]
Dear Pastor Coffin:
I received your letter of July 26, 2007 and read it in its entity [sic] as I have done with all your letters.
I understand you being upset with Lincoln over writing to several of your fellow workers. I understand you are satisfied with Lincoln’s supervisors getting this stopped as you requested but are not satisfied that enough was done to “undo” what Lincoln did. Candidly, I don’t think you can “unring a bell,” and in this case I think the fact that you have copied your conference president on the letters, work with your associate Pastor _____________, and have some connection with the members of the pastoral staff at _____________’s [your father-in-law's] church probably has undone what can be undone. I understand that those are individuals to whom Lincoln copied a letter. I think Lincoln spoke to others but I really don’t know who they are. I think you can appreciate that it is one thing for an employer to require an employee to conform to certain actions; it is another to try to require an individual to make further statements contrary to his viewpoint which there is no reason to believe has changed.
I am sorry for any misunderstanding regarding a conversation that took place with ___________ and Mrs. ____________ and my fellow attorney from the GC and me at a Sabbath afternoon outing to a zoo during a lawyers’ conference in the Southern Union. I don’t agree with your characterization of this as “gossip” or that I “regaled” the ____________s with information. My colleague and I spent the afternoon with the ____________s. During that whole afternoon of conversation my memory of this portion of the conversation was that it lasted less than 5 minutes. It started when I asked where they attended church and they indicated you were their pastor. I expressed I knew your from your editing history and book writing. I also mentioned that I had worked with your brother-in-law at Pacific Press. It was then obvious that the ____________s were very aware of the internal family strife surrounding the death of ___________ [your father-in-law]. There was then an exchange of a few comments regarding the unfortunate circumstances surrounding the Steed funeral. I was really only aware at that time that your family was absent. My colleague observed it was unfortunate that a daughter would not attend her own father’s funeral. Mrs. ____________ then explained the history of psychological abuse she felt your wife was subjected to and that she was no longer an attending church member. The gist of the conversation was not of a gossip nature but rather a sense of shared regret for the circumstances involved. Be assured that neither my colleague nor I had any intent to malign you or your wife. In fact, we came away more informed of the perspective of your family from the information shared with us.
I wish there were some easy answer to the relationship challenges that exist between the Coffins and the Steeds. While you now suggest that somehow Church administration is responsible for failing to do certain things, your earlier indications were that the underlying problems are family problems that date back twenty years. The sincere desire of our suggestion for conciliation was to provide some forum of healing and to allow these matters to be aired in a neutral environment. By the way, I understand that the mediator(s) would have been neutral, non-church employees. However, to be candid, based on the depth of these issues that have arisen and the absence of trust that both sides of this dispute have for each other, I don’t know if reconciliation at this point is really possible. Clearly, you and your family feel aggrieved and hurt by Lincoln’s actions and words. Similarly, Lincoln feels aggrieved and hurt by actions and words of your and your family.
During my years at Pacific Press I heard many very positive things about your work, ministry and of course your writing. _____________, who I have known for many years, and his wife speak very highly of your ministry. I have no reason to doubt the significance or positive impact of your ministry. I wish you continued blessings in your work and for your family.
Sincerely,
Robert E. Kyte
General Counsel
REK:mw
Xc:
Halvard Thomsen
Eugene Hsu
Jan Paulsen
Don Schneider
John Graz
Mike Cauley
Lincoln Steed
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